My Wedding Alphabet, A to M…
I’ve been fortunate enough to spend a lot of time with my bridesmaids recently and we’ve been discussing how much has gone on since we turned from a couple to a newly engaged planning machine. It’s not something I really clocked until one evening whilst watching TV and chatting to my Matron of Honor, who has been married a few years.
First of all, the letter A would have to stand A for Anxious. I am so panicking over everything. Have I put the right people together on the tables? Will everything go OK? What do I do if I can’t walk in the shoes I’ve chosen? I’ve been able to pick holes in everything pretty much. But I will quickly follow it up with B for Blessed, I haven’t fully realised the new family, friends and support network I have been given through being with Mr M and I truly don’t know what I would have done without them. I think that C would be for Careful, we’ve had to make so many decisions and as much as people say “it’s your day”; we knew deep down there are decisions we’ve made that have and will be made to ensure that those sharing our day will enjoy it as much as we hope to. Budgets, Venue Choices, Menu Choices, Heel height for Bridesmaids …
D will be for Dilemma-filled, I really didn’t fully comprehend the amount of decisions that would leave me with dilemmas that would leave me reaching out to those around me for advice, support and blog posts, Pinterest articles and magazines for inspiration. E (for me personally) would be Emotional, I didn’t realise that I would truly be that bothered by it all and some experiences have affected me more than others. The frustration of being a plus-size bride and not being able to try on dresses without being massacred by elastic bands and bulldog clips, being told on numerous occasions that “there is nothing for you in this store” or “the plus sizes are over there, but we don’t have much in you could actually try on” … Bless my Bridesmaids for being there and my wonderful Mum (and my Mother-in-Law) for being on the end of phone at all times.
F is for Flapping! (and Frustrated…) I have never been as indecisive as I am with decisions like what do I want in the middle of the tables, what sweets shall we choose for the sweet table, do I want real or fake flowers… Can I change my mind? I want this instead! With the flapping, I’ve also increased the amount of apologies that I’ve issued with my indecisiveness and panic-like tendencies especially to confused shop assistants or wedding suppliers. I’m also aware how frustrating something can be when you are planning a wedding. For example, I’m a plus size lady … walking into a dress shops filled me with absolute fear and dread especially as some were less delicate than others when informing me their stock may not be what I’m looking for. (Points for those who register the Star Wars reference!) The issue of trying to meet with suppliers when you work all week and they are booked most weekends – frustration was the best emotion I could think of for that one.
G is for Gorgeous and Glam (I know it’s not really an emotion, but it’s how I felt). There have been moments where I have genuinely felt gorgeous, glamorous and actually “bridal” if that’s truly a real thing! To me, it hasn’t necessarily been at moments you’d expect. Our engagement shoot, I am in casual clothes, boots and stomping around a park and hiding in dens as we did… But the moments captured by our now wedding photographer. Trying on tiaras, posing in photo booths at wedding fairs, seeing my bridesmaids get on so well … gorgeous events, gorgeous people, gorgeous things.
This next one will possibly confuse as most people would assume H will be for Happy, but I will declare that H would be for Horrified from my point of view. Horrified about the misconceptions I had about random things, how hard is it to do a seating plan? Social politics – If she has a plus one, we’ll have to offer one to him … we need to hide Uncle Jim from the buffet (I don’t have an Uncle Jim… in case you were wondering!). I also feel I was a little naïve when budgeting for the whole thing. The incidental things, table confetti, straws to stop people smudging their lipstick, activities for the kids to do; It’s dawned on me at four months to go, there are definitely things I’ve forgotten.
I needs to be for Immature, some of my wedding preparations have focused on the children who will be part of our wedding and as a teacher, I am often too child-like for my own good. Is it socially acceptable to give them temporary pirate tattoos at a nautical wedding? Will we be able to persuade our pageboy to relinquish his eye patch before the photographs? Can the best man stop doing flips on the bouncy castle to make his speech please? I’m probably being melodramatic, but some of our wedding may seem quite child-like to some but we’d have it no other way. J is for Jealous; a very unusual emotion to see in a blog post about how amazing it is and I’m getting married. I should be happy, I get that truly I do. I’ve had mammoth issues about feeling like I should be a beautiful bride, glowing with happiness… swooning of pastels and flower combinations and I’ve not felt like I’ve been a stereotypical bride. I have been jealous of those who can walk into any bridal shop, lingerie boutique and beauty salon without feeling intimated, scared and completely out of place or at least, have the confidence to not show it.
K and L will stand for Kind and Loving which is what a majority of our suppliers, friends and family have been throughout the process thus far and I hope they’ll continue to do so if they haven’t grown sick of us yet. The kindness of photographers agreeing to change terms in their contract, the understanding of my dress shop allowing me to FaceTime my mum, connect to their WiFi as she was too unwell to come and see me in my dress in person, the generosity of family helping us to save, fund and create our special day.
M has to be for Married, I kind of already feel “married”; we’ve made so many decisions, choices about how our wedding day will be that I know whatever decisions we have to make as a couple in the future, we’ll be fine!
For N to Z, come back next week! See you soon...