The realisation you MIGHT be a bridezilla...
(And the “nobody is listening to me!” tantrum)
We’ve all laid on the settee and indulging in those wedding TV shows and tittering from behind our packets of crisps on a Tuesday night thinking, “Hah, what an idiot, I’d never be like that” and “I can’t believe he’s with someone who reacts like THAT over something so silly”. Yep. Me too. It never occurred to me that I might just turn into one of these monsters myself.
My partner, Adam, and I have only just started on the long and lovely road of wedding planning, skipping effortlessly through the excitement of engagement and diving head first into this gigantic task of planning an actual wedding. And then suddenly everyone became a complete idiot. Everyone. Shop vendors, my friends, my partner, the internet. Idiots. The shops didn’t have what I was after, the venues I wanted didn’t even EXIST, even Pinterest was giving me “no results” when I turned to it for help. No results! No one knew what I wanted, why couldn’t they just ASSUME what I wanted and get it right? Why do I need to TELL them what I want and who I want where and how? Yeah, I know! Is that too much to ask? Then I realised, I’d changed. Turns out this wedding planning stuff is pretty stressful. You think about it and it seems lovely – you and your partner will sit happily scouring the internet for what you want and it’ll all fall into place in the days before your date. Easy. Except actually, it’s really, really hard. No matter what people tell you, or what you’ve told your tearful bride-to-be-friends in the past, when it’s your own wedding it’s really hard.
So what’s next? I’ve had a tantrum (and even a few tears about it all) what now? The second realisation – It’ll all be okay. Essentially, what you want at the end of the wedding is for you and your partner to be married. Now if you don’t want me to jinx it, then look away now – Barring something really, REALLY unpredictable – You WILL be married at the end of the day. You’ll be theirs and they’ll be yours. I’m a huge perfectionist, and a bit of a control freak, and I love things to be perfect, amazing and done exactly as I want, but when you get down to the bare bones of it all, if Adam and I walk out of the building as a married couple, it’ll be a success. Stuff is meant to go wrong - Some stuff, little stuff that no one really cares about, always goes wrong – Someone forgot to bring the cake knife, your gran accidentally wore her hat the wrong way on all the photos – does it really matter? Nahh. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Know in advance that some silly things might happen, but that they don’t really matter - they don’t make your day what it is. Forget it. And when it happens? Hitch your dress up, and show the world how to party. Be honest with yourselves and what you really, really find important – This was a major thing for me.
A week ago, when ‘The Tantrum’ occurred, Adam asked me what was wrong, and after reeling off reason after reason, he just burst out laughing. I thought about all I’d just said and realised I’d been a bit daft, and things that seemed huge were just stupid things. We decided to write the three main things we thought were important to us and our wedding, and everything else, whilst they’d be nice if they all fell into place, it didn’t really matter if they didn’t. If yours is flowers, then get the best flowers you can find, the most glorious flowers you’ve ever seen, and then no one will even notice the other ‘lesser’ important stuff. If you want to have a really gorgeous cake, brilliant. If you want to indulge your guests in something you really love, if you love, say, board games, get some board games out! If you don’t really care about any of that sort of stuff but you fancy having a gigantic feast and a boogie – yep, you guessed it. Go find what you want and where to get it, and get it booked. Don’t let anyone dictate what you should put most importance on. Don’t let them pressure you into what so-and-so had at their wedding. Your wedding isn’t your friend’s wedding, it isn’t Pinterest’s wedding, it isn’t your nannas wedding, it’s you and your partners, and everyone else will come and they will enjoy (even if they say they won’t in the lead up to it, obviously!) And it’s alright to be stressed out about it too, we’re all like it, it’s hard - Check out stuff online, watch the TV shows, indulge in it all, but enjoy it, and when you don’t - Close the laptop, today is not the day. There’s always tomorrow. So I’m back to the drawing board with my wedding, with my three important things tucked up my sleeve and with a new, more positive outlook. Don’t sweat the small stuff, Bridezilla
Written by our Blogging Bride Hollie
Picture from Pinterest